


Villains R Us

by Linorien



Series: 007 Fest 2017 [3]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, I blame this on Cas, and too many Classic Bond movies in a row
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 04:33:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11395413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linorien/pseuds/Linorien
Summary: Bond villains seem to always have a few things in common. Underground lair? Check. Deadly aquatic animal? Check. Monorail? Check. (There must have been a 2 for 1 sale.) So how worried should Tanner be when Q frequents the same store?





	Villains R Us

**Author's Note:**

> This is result of watching too many Classic Bond movies in a row with the same people.  
> Prompt fill: Villain Lair (TM)

 [](http://imgur.com/Qvc1GJo)

He still had to get used to being referred to by a single letter. Really it shouldn't be too different from the many online aliases he had. But hearing it rather than just reading it, something was slightly different.

However, it had hardly been a week in his new position and already his pay check was amazing. Which was how he found himself here, on the tube, composing a wish list on his phone. It wouldn't do to splurge all at once, but planning long term was a skill that had served him well before. It would serve him well again. 

 

 

“You've been the Quartermaster for almost eight years now, right?” Tanner was sitting at the island bar in Q’s modest flat, watching as the Quartermaster puttered around making dinner. 

“Yes. Why?”

Tanner looked around at the small flat. “Because I know the size of your paycheck. And I know you hold patents. And you still have this small space.”

“Why would I need anything bigger?” Q asked, putting the crisp into the oven with the roast and setting the timer. 

“You seem to have forgotten that one night at Cambridge when you sleepily made a list of things you would have if you became an evil scientist. And I still have that list.”

Q laughed and leaned against the counter. “I had forgotten about that.”

“And really, the way I see it, you are nearly an evil scientist. Mad scientist for sure.”

Q gave Tanner his best mad scientist cackle, dissolving into real laughter. He glanced at the oven timer then back at Tanner. “Can I trust you to keep a secret?”

“If you couldn't, I would have used way more blackmail to get that holographic TV you are hoarding.”

“True. Then follow me.” Q led a puzzled Tanner up the stairs and opened the closet door. He walked inside and stood next to the water heater. “Come along.”

Tanner frowned, but stood next to his friend. 

Q reached up and pressed a button hidden on the ceiling. The door closed and the floor slowly sank down. “If you have that list on your phone, you might want to pull it up. I'd be curious to see how many things I remembered.”

Tanner started to pull up the list when the brightness changed and he promptly forgot about his phone. 

They broke out of the darkness to emerge in an underground cave. It was lit by soft lights that allowed the natural minerals in the earth to glitter slightly. Along the far wall, a waterfall fed into a large pool, the gentle splashing providing the perfect ambient noise. A bridge over the water lead to a small platform with a porch swing and a small pile of books. 

“Welcome to my mad scientist lair,” Q said with a smile. 

“No, you have earned the title of evil scientist since you hid this from me for so long. Who else knows?”

“My sister. No one else.”

“Then I suppose I am honoured.”

“Well come on, let me give you a tour.”

They stepped off the platform and into the control room. With the hiss of a hydraulic door, this room was sealed off from the rest of the cavern. It was cooler in here, probably to protect the computer systems. A wall of monitors were embedded in the wall opposite a row of windows. 

Q lead the way along a catwalk to a large underground pool, complete with a waterfall. He grabbed a handful of frozen fish from the shelf and tossed it down. 

“What is that?” Tanner asked as the water surged upwards to eat the treat. 

“I keep jellyfish.”

“Are they harmless?” 

Q laughed. It sounded eerie. “Of course not. Where would be the fun in that?”

Tanner said nothing. But after taking the underground monorail tour and seeing brains in jars, trap doors, large fireplaces, actual mute henchmen, blueprints for a personal jet, and a prototype freeze ray, Tanner knew Q really was a mad genius. 

He would make sure to keep a close watch on his friend in case any more of the mad scientist tendencies tipped toward villain behaviour. 

Q watched Tanner process all this on the lift back up. He wanted to reassure his friend, but there wasn’t really much to say. So he said the only thing that came to mind. “There was a sale. And you know I can’t turn down a good deal.”

 


End file.
